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Getting to Yes with Yourself: (And Other Worthy Opponents)
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 26 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: HarperAudio
Audible.com Release Date: January 20, 2015
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00R57SPYY
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
William Ury has negotiated business partnership breakups, hostage crises, and labor strikes. He has mediated conflicts between Irish Catholics and Protestants, Israelis and Palestinians, and in other war zones. He writes from experience.This is not an ordinary self-help book. We can be grateful it is considered "a primary business text". This book has clarity and the potential to transform attitudes of zero sum scarcity to greater gentleness and "win-win-win". Beginning where the reader is, he quotes Goethe, "Know thyself? If I knew myself, I'd run away". To commence by listening to oneself nonjudgmentally. The second task is to develop the "Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement", a commitment to take care of one's needs independent of what others do. The third is to see life as friendly which allays fears of scarcity. The fourth is refrain, even in conflict, from past and future resentments and anxieties. The fifth is to respect, to accept and to include others (even when they are difficult). The final challenge is to approach by giving first instead of taking.These six steps may sound simple or reductive. I tried to approach this book without evaluating. It is a great personal challenge to develop these insights and skills. Reading this book slowly, chapter by chapter; taking it in, taking time - not skimming, the author's voice has become a whispering in my ear, an aspirational helpmeet centering me during current negotiations.
Almost 20 years ago I first participated in the Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation (PON) as an "role player" and later was extremely fortunate to be able to take the full semester HLS course. I have read many of PON's books over the years with generally great interest and "profit". This is one of the very best, at least to me.Here Professor Ury faces the hardest task of all--negotiating with and calming oneself in emotionally demanding negotiations. He convincingly blends the increasingly mainstream insights on meditation (which one can also regard as prayer in many cases) and traditionally religious ideas like trust, gratitude, and forgiveness, with those of the more rationalistic, but powerful PON approach.Without wanting to diminish it in any way, I would describe it as an extraordinary confluence of the work of HMS professor Herbert Benson on the "relaxation response", Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning", Martin Seligman's work on learned optimism (and learned helplessness), with lessons from his own life and the many other fine writers who have contributed to PON.A wonderful capstone to a series of books, though Ury would call it the "prequel" to them all, which of course it truly is.
A must for anybody !! I read many books in this area but this one deeply inspired me and changed my life. I now sees and approaches conflicts (within family, work, friends etc..) in a complete different way, much more constructive and peaceful. This book gives peace! I had seen a video of William Ury and I really enjoyed his personality. Plus, this book gives tools and concrete example. It is so clearly written ! What a brillant writer and man !! Just loved this book so much ! This book should be given in school !!!
This is a book of practical wisdom. Quite a little gem! I know Ury's work from his seminal book "Getting to Yes" (a brilliant classic about the art and practice of mediation) In this book we are directed inward, to how the greatest conflicts that we face everyday are within ourselves and that unless we learn to stop being at war with ourselves, we will suffer and will not be able to be the best we can be in the rest of our lives. Then he gives us simple but powerful practices about how to end the inner conflict. This little volume is full of psychological, Spiritual and practical wisdom, all put in beautifully simple language that makes it completely accessible. Ury weaves his journey with his daughter who was born with serious and ongoing medical issues with tales from the negotiating table involving major world conflicts. He's been there and the mix of his personal journey with stories from his career as a mediator are told with a humility and no big deal-ness- that i found totally refreshing and unpretentious. It's an enjoyable read too.. Even though i have been involved in the worlds of both mediation and personal growth for decades, I felt well instructed, inspired and renewed. I know I will be implementing many of his suggestions and passing them onto others as well.
In some ways this book pales by comparison to the author's earlier books (e.g., it does not give a good introduction to some of the idioms). But it gets to a point that is often overlooked: really understanding where YOU are coming from--in a negotiation or a job interview (which is a kind of negotiation). It is a quick read and I found it valuable enough to give to my step daughter (who is graduating and looking for either jobs or grad school) as a birthday present. I'd like to give it 4.5 stars: I really like it, but I want to record that it may not be the best introduction to William Ury.
If life is a school, then relationships are the graduate course in the University. And one of the most difficult classes has to be Getting Your Needs Met 101. In this wonderful new book by Bill Ury, he helps us get an A.In a simple, yet profoundly deep and personal way, Ury shows us how to overcome the inner obstacles and the "No's" we all have that get in the way of our saying Yes to ourselves, the people closest to us, and Life. In short, he helps us win the inner game so that we may be more fulfilled in all aspects of our life.I found the ideas and tools, such as "self-observation/going to the balcony" and "reframing," immensely helpful because he gave clear examples of each in relationships, business and even sports.I would highly recommend this book.
One of the best books around to help you discover and make your case. It will cause you to think about what you really want and how you can take steps to get it.
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